Solo Travel, the Flight

I fell asleep on the plane and when I woke up, we had fallen off the edge of the world -- outside was nothing but water and a few cotton ball clouds.  There was a horizon, but I couldn't see it because the sky and the water were the same color.  So, there I was, wrapped in infinite, putting the full hard stop on the person that was.  The person that was part of, companion to, connected with -- and this took my breath.  I needed the full hard stop so I could gather enough voice to speak the person who is.  Complete.  Entire.  Imperfect unto herself.

The day did not start off well.  I woke up to a message that my flight had been cancelled. I panicked.  This trip was the thing I had been looking forward to for months.  This was the mortar I would use to put together the brick house that is myself.  I ended up finding the earlier flight and I booked it without hesitation, rushing to the airport thanking the personality gods that I am always two hours early for everything.  I booked it even though I can't afford it, because of the moment.  The moment in the mirror, just after I got the cancellation message, where I looked at my frightened self.

In that moment, my frightened self wondered how bad it would really be to Chuck the trip, stay home and be safe (if bored) for a week.  The frightened voice was small, thank goodness, but still comforting.  So, I marched myself to the internet, found the earlier flight, threw everything in my bag, and got myself to the airport in plenty of time.  My fingers and hands shook so much, I could barely complete the reservation online.  Somehow it happened, and I got on a plane where I could fall asleep and wake up to find we had fallen off the edge of the world.

In the taxi on the way to the airport, I noticed a bright, clear full moon.  It was glowing brown in a deeper brown sky.  I felt the last layers of panic shake down through my body and out my feet.  The only shaking I would be doing for the next week would be for sheer joy, dancing.  I felt inclined to be peaceful, patient, to love and trust in the good nature of all people and things.