Ginger Problems

Laugh and the whole world laughs with you.  Cry and the cat gets scared and bites.

Or something like that.

So, the event went about how I expected.  It was beautiful and uplifting and I walked around the whole time feeling like I had a knife stuck in my chest.  I stayed just long enough for the Introduction of the Practitioners, then I sneaked out into the rainy night while the strains of "I Will Survive" drifted out the open door.

I am not kidding.  The ultimate woman power anthem was playing in the background while I walked to my car, sobbing into my hands.  Great, gulping, gasping sobs.  Did you think I'd lay down and die? Oh no, not I.

When I made it home, I knew I was going to eat my feelings.  I needed to stop into the store down the block and get something to eat.  I checked the mirror before I left the car, and came on another disadvantage of a fair complexion. -- the way crying reddens the face for a very long time.  Well, into the night with my red-face ginger problems.  Sugars and trans fats trump all.

Grief Surprise

This weekend, the center where I have my practice is throwing a party. We are celebrating the completion of a major expansion, and the opening of a beautiful new event space. This will be a great opportunity for me to network with my peers, show off my space to my friends, and generally be happy with my professional life so far.

This is the kind of event you want to share with a partner.

We had a community meeting this morning, and in the middle of joy and excitement at meeting new practitioners, I was bombed by grief. I was thinking of what I would wear and how I would a arrange my materials.  I was picturing a partner to compliment and reassure me on the way over. Then I remembered I don't have that right now. Boom.

I am trying to redirect this self-pity into excitement for the event.  But. Still. I keep picturing getting dressed with no one but the cat to reassure me. Fortunately for me, she is very vocal in her praise.