It started with a health setback, and ended with a bloodless coup. His parent had a massive heart attack*, and his other parent (the one with a progressive, debilitating illness) started to decline rapidly. The family all came together, as families do. Finances were examined, old hurts reopened, drama ensued. I sent some concerned messages, and went on with my plans to build a trellis for tomatoes on the balcony.
Somewhere in the family drama and financial reviews it was discovered that my friend didn't actually own the condo on paper. It was owned by his parents. And it was underwater. Financial powers of attorney were signed and the place was put on the market.
I had to move. Soon.
Anxious phone conversations happened. What if. Maybe. Could be. Possibly. None of it was true. And I realize now, none of it had to do with the very real burden that was being placed on my life. I asked for radio silence. I turtled up and tried to think of what to do. And inside my shell, I came to a realization:
It's over.
And I wrapped myself inside my shell and I wept like I hadn't done for a long time. Exhausting, ugly, loud, wracking sobs. Because in that moment the thing I knew I had lost was a true friend. A person who, with all his faults, cared deeply for me at one time and helped me emerge into the person I am now. I couldn't see a way to maintain a friendship when such a big part of it was this strange situation with the condo.
Mercury was in retrograde, and this part of my life was falling apart. Even though I know that the planets had nothing to do with any of it, somehow there was comfort in knowing that just like this unique astrological positioning, this situation was temporary and would change.
*-- identifying details have been changed
