No. Just, no.

I am communicating with a lot of different people via text messaging these days.  Some of those people want to do sexy things with me, and I want to do sexy things with them, and we text about it.  Written consent.  What could be better?

The problem for a word snob like me, is that people -- okay, men -- sometimes use words they think are hot and sexy, and they just are really not.  Here is my PSA on a few of those words:

Yummy

Context: "Want to play tomorrow?  Sounds yummy."

Um.  No.  Does not sound yummy.  Sounds annoying.  Yummy is what you say to get a toddler to eat a vegetable, not to get me excited about spending adult time with you.  

Crave

Context:  "Let's get together Monday.  I crave it."

Intellectually, I totally appreciate the implied compliment -- that time with me is a desire that arises unbidden and must be addressed or otherwise one will think of nothing else.  But I just don't like the sound of the word crave.  (I warned you that I am word snob.)  It sounds whiny to me, starting with a hard-flung consonant and winding down into this long hissing end.  Not.  Sexy.

Mommy/Daddy

Context: "Come over here to daddy."

There are not enough synonyms for "ick" to describe the feeling I get when these words are used in the context of sex.  

Juicy

Context: <you can imagine>

I am not a fruit.